I fooled everyone....
Ok, so here I am. This is Greg. If you really want to know me, listen up. Because I don't usually open up to people that much.
So first off, I guess I confuse people sometimes. Well maybe not confuse people, but I come off as someone I'm not. When you see me, a couple of words probably come to your mind. Loud, Funny, Happy, Loving, Sweet, Easy Going, Talkative...etc. But to me, I don't see it.
I think there are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to me. But not by just one person, but by many. First thing that comes to mind is me sleeping. Yes, it is a fact, I love sleeping, and I will probably sleep all day if my body/people allow it. But that doesn't mean I always need it. I am a night owl, so like now, I'm staying up late, 1-2 am, and I will sleep until 12-1 pm, because I can. But if I have to wake up for something I can. I don't turn into Mr. Asshole if I can't sleep 12 hours. Actually, I rarely ever sleep for 12 hours....It's usually 11 (hehe). I know on a number of occasions, Erin comes to mind, Ashley has said it, and I know there are others but I cant remember (and I'm not just picking on erin or ash, heh honestly I'm not), have said, well Greg needs his sleep...yada yada yada. But there lies the problem. I really don't. I can stay awake with the best of them, but I can also sleep with the best of them. There is some sense to my sleeping though, I might have gotten some habits from my Dad, who sleeps upright watching TV sometimes, or it could be that I had Mono when I was a child. With mono, it stays with you for the rest of your life, you tire easily, and you get sick easier then normal people. One way, at least for me, to fight of illness is sleep, and lots of it. Having Mono as a child severely changed my life, for one thing I gained my weight then, and never lost it, but mostly, it damaged my immune system because I went untreated for it and basically beat it myself (because my doctor was an ass and thought I had Schoolaphobia instead of Mono....even though he drew blood for it but never did the test...but told us he did and said I was negative...yea...asshole doctor.) So for future cases, please don't make the assumption that I NEED sleep, I really don't need anymore then everyone else, if I am given the opportunity to sleep I will, but please don't make plans around me sleeping. (Seriously, this isn't in regard to anything that has happened ....ever! it's just me making a statement to anyone who wants to listen. Seriously.)
Ok so another thing about me. I love being alone. I really do. I love quiet, I love nature, I LOVE sitting on the beach listening to the waves crashing. I love taking walks. (I do love walking with others too.) But one thing I missed at college was....alone time. Greg time if you will. No not to do that sicko! But to just relax, be myself, and not care if anyone is around. As I sit here in my room...alone, I truly do love being alone. The height for me is car rides. If I am riding in a car, not driving, I absolutely love looking out the window and just thinking. That is my ultimate Greg time, even though someone obviously has to be driving, I am just able to think and look at my life. So as much as a partier or "leader" I come across as, I'm not, I'm a fraud. Granted, I love being with people, and I have amazing friends who I would love to spend all my time with, but I also like being alone. But if I am given the position of leader, I will do my best at it. And hey, if I'm not the leader, ill just sit back and watch.
Next, I miss my grandmother terribly. I hide all my pain behind a smile and said "Oh it's ok, I'm fine." When in reality I was screaming inside. I am so broken up now that I am home and I can't see her. I never grieved for her fully, because I escaped back to college and didn't need to deal with it. But god do I miss her. My grandmother taught me so many things, and I took my time with her for granted. I was foolish and assumed she would always be there to tell me the same stories over and over again. But now...she's gone. And I never said goodbye to her. I never told her how much she meant to me. How much she impacted my life. How much seeing her made me so happy. And I never will get to. The one piece of hope I cling to are her "miracles" how she seems to send me signs to help me ease my pain. Just when I need her...she's there. Some how I will eventually get over the loss of her, but it just makes me so mad that I didn't tell her things that I wanted to just because I didn't want to seem like I was weak. Something I must get over.
*Editor's note: I started writing this post on 7/18. On the 21 I went to Maine to surprise Ash, up there. While sitting by the lake, I heard a song on her computer. "My Way" by Frank Sinatra, the tear jerking song that was played at her funeral. And as I sat there, listening to this song, and looking out at the lake, and the sunset, and the water, something in me just was put at ease. Something like Grammy standing behind me, hand on my shoulder and just assured me that I never really lost her. Her dying wish was that she would see me cross the stage on Graduation day from college. She was so proud of me, and for that to be her last wish meant a lot to me. When she was in the hospital she said to me, "Greg, I want to be there when you graduate college. But....I wont be there, BUT...I will BE there." This is something I'm starting to believe. And something that HAS helped me cope. Funny, a few days ago I was still devastated that she was gone. Now...I'm writing this with a smile. She never left, because she is still with me and will always be with me, just as long as I believe she is. I love you Ra-Ra.Next thing about me? I put myself on the back burner when others need help. Some may call this a flaw, but I would rather see myself as a bum on the street because I gave everything to my friends, then to see even an ounce of pain in one of my friends. I say it all the time, but I don't know if anyone ever really believes it. But if you are my friend, and u need something, I don't care what time it is. Call me...if I wake up, I will do my best to help to you. I really wont care. No matter how stupid you think it is, if it bothers you, it bothers me. I will never get mad at you if you ask me for help. So, if you ever need anything...don't hesitate to call. Please, just call me and ill do my best to help you.
Well, that's all I can think about right now/that's all I want to tell you. But Hopefully there will be a part deux sometime.
Keep On Rocking In The Free World
Wait, did we seriously just do that?
Ok people, here it is. The greatest story of my summer so far. This is one of the greatest entries i have ever posted. The story of one of the greatest days of my life, Oh yea, it's def up there. So here we go. Buckle your seat belts cuz we are going for a ride.
So Willams came to my house on Wednesday to escape the stressful week he was having. It was a little wierd because me and him have never just hung out for a long period of time alone. But it was a great time and id love to do it again. So he came here and we hung out with nick and then came the time for nick to leave. As soon as he closed the door, Willams shouted, "Let's go to Maine and surprise ashley up there."
Me: "Hahaha that would be so awesome....haha....heh...hehe.......wait do u seriously want to? Cuz i will if you want to...."
Willams: "Let's DO IT!!!"
So we trick Ashley into giving us perfect directions by saying we want to know where Willams' place is in comparison. And we go to bed at Midnight. My head just barely touches the pillow when my phone rings...it's Ashley. Well now i have to act like im sleeping in tomorrow and not waking up in less then 5 hours. So i talk to her for about 30 mins and head to bed. Ashley has no idea (although she said she knew we were coming up, and she is psychic so i beleive her.) So the buzzer goes off. We are up and ready to go at 4:45. My mom comes down stairs...
Mom: "I heard your phone go off, whats going on, why are you up so early?"
Greg: "That was my phone alarm, we are going to Maine to surprise Ash."
Mom: "WAS THAT ASHLEY CALLING AT 5am??"
Greg: "No...that was my alarm...did you hear what i just said...I'm going to Maine."
Mom: "Oh that's fine, u packing a bag and staying a couple of days?"
I love my mom, more worried that me and ash are talking at 5 am then me going to Maine to visit her..amazing.
Anyways, 5:30 rolls around and we are through Boston. No traffic, Nothing. Then we stop to get gas at 6. and we officially start the trip to Liberty, Maine. This was an amazing trip just because we couldn't believe that we were doing it. The ride was awesome because Willams and I just goofed off and listenned to his CD's. (Sidenote, great Mix cd Jena!! We listenned to the whole thing!) So we cruise up to Maine and the directions, or lack there of, are sooo easy. We arrive at "Paradise" and proceed to call Ash and tell her that her dad did a wonderful job on the porch. One quote describes her mood. "You Guys Suck!!" Well even though she was awake way to early (it was 9:30) she was excited to see us. I told her that my checks actually hurt because i was smiling the entire way up just because we were being so crazy! Well we ended up spending the entire day there and got our fair share of boating and just hanging around the Lake. But we eventually had to leave so we said our goodbyes and we were "On the Road AGAIN!" at 9pm. Well the ride home was amazing because we couldn't believe that we just did that. We got to Willam's house at 12:30, and by 12:31 i passed out in his room. He drove me home the next morning and i had to work from 2-10, and yes that was a Loooooong day. But so worth it.
I think that everyone must do this at least once every year. Not go to maine or anything specific like that, but just get up and do something spontaneous and crazy and not give a rats ass what happens. Even if Willams and I drove the 3 1/2 hours up to Liberty and couldn't find her house, at least we tried to do it, we didn't just say, oh that would be cool. Because when we get older, we can both say, yea....we did it. We just randomly drove to Maine...for a day trip. Yea we did it, it cost roughly 50-60 bucks to do it, but so what, we made Ashley's day, and no offense to ash, more importantly, we made our day! We had a blast getting there and we enjoyed every second of it, even the painful ride home, which if Willams was even half as tired as i was, it was too dangerous for him to be driving. But Willams and I will remember this day for the rest of our lives. Why, well to quote Risky Business, "Sometimes you just gotta say What The Fuck, and Just do it." Well, we said "What The Fuck" and did it, and no one can take that away. It is the most amazing feeling to look over at each other ans say...are we really doing this? But even better is driving home and saying...did we really just do that? I will remember this trip for the rest of my life, and for that, i thank Willams for being my Wingman and Co-Captain for this trip, and i thank Ashley and Co. for letting us crash there vacation and stay for the day, because we def didnt tell them we were coming and they were great about it.
Before i conclude this entry, Willams and i say some out-of-place license plates on our trip and i think we have made it our goal to see all 50 state license plates and well, whatever else we can find. So far we have:
USAAlabama
Arkansas
California
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Illinois
Kansas
Maine
Maryland
Michigan
Missouri
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New York
North Carolina
Ohio
Oregon
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Virginia
Washington
None USAMontreal
Nova Scotia
Ontario
Quebec
Well that pretty much wraps up my week,
Keep On Rocking In The Free World!
Life After Wenham
Ok, so I have finally recovered from my "vacation" to Wenham. I saw "vacation" because it always seems like when I go there I escape all my problems and just have fun for however many days. The only problem is I come back BEYOND tired because of course Ash and I stay up way too early and for some un-godly reason we always wake up early. So I worked yesterday and I rested all day today. Which was Nick Pistorino's 19th Birthday....wahoo for NICK! Happy Birthday! Anyways, so let me finish up first with my trip to Wenham.
While Ashley worked on Wednesday, Me and Court went to the batting cages in Middleton. It was a lot of fun, but it reminded me how much I hate batting cages sometimes. They are spastic, and they don't allow you to read the pitch until its too late. I will stop venting now because anyone who took the time to read this just said...."What the hell is he talking about?"
Ok so as odd as it may sound, I loved hanging out with court because I almost see her as my little sister I never had. She is just so awesome, and I actually see a lot of myself in her, which is probably a big reason we hit it off so easily. The best thing is when she does stuff that younger siblings just do. I have to constantly remind Ashley that everything she does is because she looks up to us, especially Ash. I know what I am speaking of, I am a younger sibling myself, so when I steal my brother's stuff or hang out with his friends, deep down inside, it's because I look up to him. Anyways, in conclusion, Courtney Perkins is awesome, and way too much fun.
So when Ashley came home, we met up with Meghan Elizabeth Flynn and I was introduced into the secret society that is..."The Starbucks Talks". We had a wonderful discussion and I said goodbye to Meffer because I wasn't going to see her again.
When we got home, Ashley packed and I watched ESPN Classic Homerun Derby 99. Great derby. While Ash was packing I roamed around downstairs and eventually saw the massive bed that I was going to be sleeping in that night. Mrs. P had blown up a Queen size air mattress for me to sleep on, It was like sleeping on AIR!! Haha...get it....ok moving on. It was a little piece of heaven if I do say so myself.
Well then that brings me to Thursday July 14th....Our 8 month anniversary. Wow...thats all I have to say. I just honestly don't know where the last 8 months went but hey, I'm not complaining.
Well it came time to part ways and leave Wenham behind for the time being. I went home and finally passed out for a good 12 hours. Worked 2-10....and then it got interesting.
Now, ill let you all read Ashley's blog to get the real story about what happened, but here is my censored version. Heh.
So Ashley is up in Maine for her annual 10 days girls weekend featuring Chuck Perkins. So she calls me and we talk and well, this quote should sum it up for you:
Ashley: "Here talk to my Dad while I Pee."
Mr. Perkins: "Greg.....get your ass up here. It's the first day and I'm already going crazy with all these girls."
Greg: "Hey, if I didn't have to work tomorrow, I would be right up there!"
Mr. Perkins: "You got to come up here and do some bass fishing."
Greg: "Oh, count me in, I'll get up at 6am or whatever just to go, I'm def in."
Mr. Perkins: "Yea...and if you play your cards right....This will be Ashley's place....then...Mega Fishing for you."
*
Ashley screaming from in the background*: "Do I get a say in this?? DON'T RUSH ME!!"
Yup, I love the Perkins family. All of them, Sally, Leroy, Juile, Chucky, Court, Nicholas, Chester, Elvis, Henrietta, Ted, Hank, Willie, Mickey, and Nolan. Oh and Ashley goes in there too I guess. Seriously, Mrs. P had said that it is awesome that I feel so at home there, but it's true. Everyone is just so nice and as much as Ashley hates it...they are Perfect. I feel comfortable because they are such amazing people. Mrs. P is so funny and nice and just crazy sometimes, and she is of course a great mother to the Perky sisters. Mr. P is just hilarious. He has the best dry delivery, that everything he says creates gutbusting laughter. And her grandparents are just amazing. I haven't really had a chance to truly get to know them, but from the experience I have from them, I know that they are great and wonderful people as well.
And that brings me to today, I called in sick after being up late and having slight migraine headaches. The night was the worst of them, but once I finally fell asleep, I was fine. Then after feeling refreshed, I went out to eat with Nick for his birthday and went to see The Wedding Crashers afterwards. Great Great Great movie, fairly stereotypical, but many twisted make it amazing.
So now I'm here...Typing, I have officially caught up to me right now...like...now. Everything u are reading now is brand new...but not anymore, now its old. But this is NEW....but now its old. Ok I'm going to stop trying to be witty. Tune in for my next post, while writing this I thought of a great entry, and one that is actually serious and cuts to the core of me. The topic will be about how I use my humor, and how it is a bad thing sometimes.
Keep On Rocking In The Free World!
Update From The Casa De Perkins
Hey everyone, I'm here sitting at Ashley's computer while she is at work and I am waiting to court to get ready so we canhead out to the batting cages. Well I guess I'll bring you up to date:
I arrived in Wenham at 3:59 on Monday via the Commuter Rail. From there we headed home to Ashley's and spent the night on the couch watching the Homerun Derby. Abreu hit 24 in one round...wtf!? Anyways, afterwards we went up stairs and looked at ringtones for 2 1/2 hours...it was fun. Then seeing as it was 5:54, I headed to my honorary room (Court's room) and went to sleep. Then in the morning, Ashley woke me up by being in the bed with me, kinda scary because I didn't hear her come in. Once we got up we headed to the Tea House for lunch with Court and Beth. Then after going to a couple of stores so Ash could buy the Bronson Arroyo cd, and the Cowboy Troy cd, we headed home again but this time with Meghan! Then we ordered pizza and watched the All Star game and then watched Ashley take a 2 hour power nap from the 3rd inning to the 8th. Then everyone left, and Ash and I spent the night talking and just being cutesy. I'll spare you the details. And that brings me to here. I'm sitting here....not really much to say, but there will be once Ash gets out of work! YAY!!
Ok until then,
Keep On Rocking In The Free World!!
Greg's Philosophy
We all have thought it. Everyone wishes at least once in their life, that they could watch someone without them knowing we were watching. There are various reasons for this, you either want to see what they REALLY think about you, or how they act when you aren't there, etc. But the other night, I was talking to Ashley. I said to her, "Have you ever wished that others could watch you without you knowing." It's somewhat common for other people to wish they could watch you, but what if you WANT them to see you. Now you may be like, "No, I don't want people watching me, that's weird." But for all you bloggers out there, what do you think you are doing. You are technically putting your journal, your stories, your life, online for the world to see, you don't know who is reading it, anyone could. Now you see what I'm getting at? Well let me explain it better.
I thought about this when I was at work, stocking shelves. Now honestly, no one wants to waste their time watching that, (Your not missing much) but I'm basically speaking from a boyfriends point of view. (Just replace girlfriend/boyfriend to relate this to you) Have you ever caught yourself doing something that you KNOW would make your girlfriend smile, but the only catch is your girlfriend is nowhere near you. You know, that
something that you "only do for her", but she will never see it. Now don't you wish that she could see that. The best example I can give you is something that happened tonight. I was driving home from work. It was a very stressful day, and I wanted to listen to MY music to cheer me up. You know, some AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Guns N' Roses, Ozzy Osbourne. Basically anything that rocked and really cheered me up. Well after going through all my stations, I found nothing. Then, without thinking (or trying to impress anyone) I did something strange. I went out of my way to find Country 99.5, and somehow Ashley rewarded me for this, because I heard one of the best songs....EVER!! It was amazing, just what I needed to take my mind off the day, but....what the hell was it? I had never heard it in my life, but it was AWESOME! So I arrived at my house and I parked the car and turned it off, but kept the radio on. And I sat there trying to figure out who/what it was. Well when I heard the chorus, I knew it was a band. Lonestar first came to mind. The lead singer sounded familiar, but after trying to remember how Lonestar sings something shot into my mind. RASCAL FLATTS!! It was them, I knew it! Now I just needed the title. *Side Note - How awful/amazing is it that we can usually tell the name of the song by whatever phrase the band repeats most* Well after hearing Fast Cars and Freedom twice, I had my title. After looking it up and listening to the twenty second clip on iTunes about 30 times, Ashley appeared out of nowhere! (ironic huh. And she wasn't even supposed to be home until tomorrow.) Well after telling her my story, I had the song on my computer within seconds.
So now Ashley knows that I willingly put on a country station, but she would have never known that, if I didn't asked her for the song. Now I could be making all this up and acting like I love this song, but why would I. Would I listen to a country song just to earn a few bonus point with Ashley, I could, but I'm not. I legit LOVE this song. But now here is my point. Wouldn't it be amazing if I did that, and Ashley was watching and she saw that I listened to a country station at my own will, and not "just because" she was there. I think that would be awesome! I guess my real point is that I wish significant others could see how each other acts when they are apart. Example: Ashley could see how the "Real Greg" matches up with the "BF Greg". Then she could see that I don't do things just to earn bonus points with her. (Editor's Note: Ashley has in no way made me feel this way, she has done nothing wrong, I am just using our names here to make it easy to understand.) But as I was typing this, I realized something else. Sometimes "BF Greg" is the "Real Greg". The two personas sometimes merge into one, and they differ slightly, but the core is the same. Like I will do cutesy things with ashley that I wouldn't do with my friends, but I will also do more guy like stuff with my friends that I wouldn't do with ashley. But the Core is GREG. And that will never change.
Another story that Ashley would never know unless I told her. I was at the Weymouth Fireworks on Sunday the 3rd. Me, Pete and Maria were standing around at the "Fair-like" section of the beach. There were a couple of small rides, nothing big, but off in the distance I heard something. My attention for whatever I was doing was lost. And I found myself running across a parking lot because I thought I heard something. I ran towards the music stage where local bands play every year. As I got closer, my thoughts were confirmed. The band was playing "Hey Good Lookin'" And I ran straight up to the stage...and sang along. Now Ashley would have never know this if I didn't call her cell and put the phone up to the speakers for her to hear. See? Wouldn't it be awesome to see ALL the cutesy stuff that you do even though you probly wont be "rewarded" for them. (Of course we would have to set up some rules, no peeping toms allowed.)
It is very interesting to see how having a girlfriend changes you. Before going out with Ashley, I hated country. Well not hated, because there was no reason to hate it, I just didn't like it. When people would ask me what kind of music I liked, I would say, Everything, except Classical and Country. But now, after giving country music a chance, I kinda like it. I'm not officially a fan yet, but I like Big and Rich, Lonestar, and now, Rascal Flatts. I am slowly discovering that all country isn't bad, but some of it is. I'll never forget my brother's reaction when I was playing GTA: San Andreas and I was listening to the country station and he goes, "why are you listening to that crap", and I snapped back, "because I like it!" He was ready to kick my ass for saying that. (another moment that ashley would never know about unless I told her. See how this would come in handy.) But here I am, typing, and listening to the very song (for the 12th time in a row) that inspired this rant, with Lonestar tickets next to me that I bought for Ashley. But I didn't do this for her, I just did it period. Why? Well.... I think it's because....I'm ready to say it. If I like this song this much, I think I have to.....
I am a Country Music Fan.
There I said it, I admit it. I have officially added country music to my preferences. Once again, I am not doing this to earn bonus points, life too short to pretend to do anything just to get rewards. I am a country music fan. I'm still learning, but I like what I've heard so far. So this also somewhat proves my point that "BF Greg" and "Real Greg" have officially merged. If "Real Greg" can accept country music into his life, then my personas have clearly merged into one. So here is my promise to everyone. Do you want to see the real me, see me when your not there, when I don't know your watching? Well you can, just come and stand next to me. I will always be the same person, maybe with a few slight differences, but the Core Greg will never change.
Well that concludes Philosophy 101, please read chapters 23-25 for next class.
Keep On Rocking In the Free World.
